Being Alone

Recently I had the opportunity..well I wouldn't call it an opportunity but maybe an occasion that I was left by myself, since most of my friends weren't around me for that weekend. Despite of being alone at home and going places alone all by myself, I realised that it was kinda pathetic and it's as if you've got no friend or not worthy to have one."You eat alot of meals alone...trust me,you don't wanna to be that guy" quoted by John Mclane (Die Hard 4)

Hence I thought to myself, it was good having a bunch of friends around you to talk to and hang around.It then sank to me in my heart that it felt terrible to be like that forever!Maybe I should get a companion (mum would be happy) and then my friends can stop calling me 'gay' for that childish reason.Heh.

As I sat back munching on the food on the table in Chopper Board at Queensbay Mall, I began to look around myself and started thinking.My first thought went start into biblical persona's that have faced such loneliness in their lives.I didn't think long when the sudden gush of name ideas came into my mind.There was Joseph, Moses, David, John and Jesus.(I believe there's more but I would stop right there for now)

In each occasions when these characters are alone, God spoke to them.For example, when Moses was alone keeping his flocks, God called him in a burning bush, when John was exiled to the Isle of Patmos, the Son Of Man appeared to him and gave him the book of Revelations, and when Jesus was alone praying in the garden, God spoke to his 3 disciples confirming to them that this is His well beloved Son.

Come to think of it, God really speaks when we are alone because it is then we are most vulnerable.Why do I say vulnerable?Simply because God can speak to you similarly can the Devil speak to you.It is said that 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' and I find it very true especially if we do not focus our thoughts on God.I usually fall into temptations when I'm alone and no one's able to see what I'm capable of.

However, I'm not talking about sin and temptations but rather how God really speaks to us when we are alone.In moments like this, my mind focused on two characters that really spoke to me, Jesus and John.Jesus always did set apart a time for him to be alone with God and He did this not to alienate himself from his disciples or spend some napping time from his ministry, but He did so to spend quality time with God the Father.He practically enjoyed doing so because He did this quite a number of times throughout the gospels! Sometimes I asked myself, do I really long for God's presence and spend such quality times with Him, just being there with Him.I can say Yes and No, but most of the time, No..sad but true..I chose to do other things than choosing to be with Him.I wonder what if Jesus comes back again at this time, will I enjoy Him eternally?Will I be able to say to myself ,'All I need is You'? And nothing else matters..
Do I echo the words of David in Psalm 23 by saying that the Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want?

Secondly, my mind focuses on the apostle John that was exiled to the Isle of Patmos by the Roman Empire.Imagine, being alienated and thrown out from your assembly into an outcast land under the government authority, how would John felt at that moment of time.However, John was still faithful to God even in the absence of his fellow men.He continued to remember the Lord at the Lord's Day (Sunday).He had no intention to skip the Lord's Supper in remembrance of his master and Savior.And lo and behold, who did he met there?The Son of Man himself! The Lord Jesus in His full glory appeared to him and gave him the final revelation for the Church and the world in the isolated island.

At that moment,I stepped back and imagined myself in John's shoes.Would I be able to keep my thoughts on Him when I'm away from my brethren?Is my faith genuine to Him or am I just showing off to my fellow brethren all this while?Would I be glad or afraid if I met Him there?Would I be ashamed of what I'm doing at that moment of time?At most of our times being alone, most likely we would give in to our flesh and lusts.What if we are caught in the air in that moment when we are sinning?I would dig a hole on the ground and bury myself there.

After all these thoughts, I suddenly realized that I should always be on guard of my mind and actions regardless of whether I being alone or not.Let's hope that all of us are good boys and girls not only in front of our family and friends but also alone with ourselves. =)